Rock the Silver

Cure for gray

L'Oréal wants to cure gray hair. The company is reported to be working on a pill and hair care products to re-pigment hair. More product! The cure is likely 10 years away.

Until then, we'll just have to suffer with our silver. I'm thinking of starting a non-profit for victims of gray hair. The Leslie Stahl Foundation for the Terminally Blonde. We'll need a ribbon. Gray, I guess.

Then we need some products upon which to slap our ribbon. Flannel nightgowns? Adult diapers? Not sexy enough. The darned pink ribbon already took all the good stuff. Crock pots? Garage door openers? Keep thinking, OK?

Next, we'll need an event to raise money for our cause. The cure for gray. They say we don't move so fast anymore, so I'm thinking race is out. Choral reading for the cure? Nap for the cure? 

Celebrity victims. We are lucky in this regard. We have some who have accepted their fate, and others, like Leslie, who refuse to surrender. The mirror has two faces. So, Leslie is in. I mean, it's her foundation, after all. Jamie Lee - duh. What about George Clooney? Quietly enduring his pain with money and women.

Another one I like for this job is Maria Shriver. Maria's not a blonde, but the hair arrives about 10 minutes before she does. Imagine the hair, bouncy and rich in color. The hair has a voice and it is painting a picture of hope against the tragic canvas of those who lack pigment. Can you say telethon?

There's gold in them thar hills. Or maybe I'm just a crazy kid with a dream.

Terrible scrunching accident

It must be the season of the klutzes. Dear reader Barbara had a nasty kitchen encounter with a Japanese knife, and we wish her all the best as she recovers and grows a whole new nail. It makes me squeamish just to talk about it. 

I, personally, have been the victim of a cruel accident involving my hair. Just as I was learning to scrunch in the mousse, something terrible like this happens. I bent over and tossed my hair forward to scrunch in from underneath, and I felt a muscle in the shoulder of my scrunching arm twist and shout. 

Ouch! It feels almost like whiplash, but I think whiplash is all about the neck not the shoulder. I feel certain beauty queens with long hair are subject to that sort of injury as they strut and toss, strut and toss. I don't yet have enough hair to toss from the vertical position. That's good news for me, as the forward half-horizontal scrunch toss is already fraught with peril.  

I put some BENGAY on it last night, and it feels better this morning. Note to self: Need a kinder, gentler hair care regime. Not supposed to be going for the burn.

My hair continues to grow, and I realize now length comes with new expectations, new responsibilities. Certainly, I will have to see a physical therapist for some pre-scrunching stretches. Post-scrunch ice. One can't be too careful. 

Lazy weekend with hair magazines

It was a rough week work-wise, and I am so ready to relax and have some fun. We're going camping in our little baby trailer. It's 11 feet long and we can pull it with our Honda Element. How cute is that? 

 

Our camping philosophy is to hike hard during the day and return to our luxurious base camp for happy hour and steak. We take books, magazines, music and board games, and we just hang. What could be so wrong? Maybe I'll have a story or two when we get back. 

 

I needed reading material for the trip, and the library was closed. I ended up at the closest bookstore, which was Borders. The forecast shows possible showers, and I was getting panicky that I wouldn't have enough to read. This is like going to the grocery store hungry. I walked over to the checkout counter with a just-published hardback, a paperback and three hairstyle magazines.

 

The hardback is Hardball by Sara Paretsky. She created the character V.I. Warshawski. Kathleen Turner played V.I. in the movie. I'm a sucker for hard-boiled detective fiction, and I love it when the protagonist is a woman. But back to Sara. I've been reading her books for years and years, and guess what? She rocks the silver! Check out her website. She is a silver celebrity in my book.  

 

So, I'm paying for all these pleasures, and it's cha-ching, cha-ching. Hardbacks and magazines add up to real money. The clerk asks if I am a teacher or anything because they offer a discount. I said no.

 

Her: Are you sure? I mean, yoga, knitting, anything.

Me: I write a blog about gray hair.

Her: Really? How interesting!

Me: Do I get the discount?

Her: No. 

 

(uncomfortable pause)

 

Her: So, if you write a blog about gray hair, what's up with the hairstyle magazines?

Me: I'm feeling bad about my hair.

Her: Why? I like it.

Me: Really? I'm trying to grow it out, and it's at that painful stage.

Her: It's cute. But then you are dressed cute and trendy, so it might not look that cute if you were dressed differently.

Me: Oh, I always dress cute and trendy.

Her: So, there you go! My mother is a hairdresser. I would tell you if it looked bad.

 

Poor stylish young coworker has been listening of late to all the whining about my hair. I thought I would call her and tell her the funny story. I have hands-free dialing in my car, so I'm on the speaker phone calling her. She answered just as a guy in a Jag pulled out in front of me.

 

SYC: Did you just say ass wipe?

Me: Oh, you're there.  

SYC: Is this Donna? And did you just say ass wipe?

Me: I didn't know you had picked up, and a guy pulled out in front of me, and I called him ...

SYC: I know what you called him.

 

We must have laughed for five minutes. It was a good start to the weekend. But back to my hair. I am hanging in there. Will give it to Christmas and see what happens. Thanks to all who gave me ideas for how to preserve its natural waviness. Leave-in conditioner helps a lot. So does the diffuser attachment to the blow dryer but only at low speed. High speed produces the Harpo effect.

 

Above is a progress pic of my hair when it is blown out. I am hoping the magazines will give me some ideas for bangs. They are getting long, and I need to decide if I will go for the sexy side swept, the funky choppy or the blunt. All will be revealed as I sit around the campsite this weekend with my books and magazines dreaming about possibilities.