Rock the Silver

Tales of the undyed

Some of you may recall that back in February I started growing out my super-short haircut into a bob.  I said I would give it until Christmas to look like something other than a mistake. Well, here we are. I still have an almost-bob, but I like it and plan to keep going. Why does it take forever?

I decided two years ago to quit the color. No regrets. It just feels right. Maybe I have been reading too many vampire novels, but I've started thinking we should call ourselves the undyed. I sort of like it. Strong, immortal, sexy. Not yesterday's vampires. Not yesterday's gray!

This is the season of resolutions. Perhaps you are going gray and ready to quit the color. Why not make 2010 the year of rocking the silver? Or maybe you are already growing it out and stuck in the tabby cat phase ... a coat of many colors with strange roots and weird stripes. It will look better next year. I promise. Come talk if you need motivation and support. Remember, you don't have to be frumpy or look old. It's all about style and attitude.

Just make sure your resolutions include fun, change, risk and reward. Some people say that going gray is about letting yourself go. I believe that if you do it right, you will be saying, "What a way to go!"

Little lessons

I am on vacation until January 4! No special plans. Just time to rest and rejuvenate. Spent the first two days of my long-awaited vacation clutching Kleenex®. Had a bad cold and a bad attitude. I hate being sick! By day three, I was feeling better and back on top of the world, learning little lessons along the way.

We celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary on the Winter Solstice. Not big on convention or show. We went out for our 30th only because it seemed like a milestone too big to be ignored. This year, Dale bought a fresh duck and roasted it with orange sauce. As we were chatting in the kitchen, I with my wine and he with his martini, it occurred to me that the first thing he ever cooked for me was duck with orange sauce. Seriously!

Dale and I were both in the Army, stationed in Germany. He lived in the bachelor officer's quarters next to mine. We had been out on a date or two, and he finally invited me over to his swinging bachelor pad. And cooked me a wonderful dinner in the little group kitchen down the hall. He had completely forgotten about that until I brought it up, and we had one of those full-circle moments where you think isn't life interesting and wonderful?

Lesson #1: Life is interesting and wonderful.

I made poppy seed roll from an old family recipe. It's basically a jelly roll of sweet pastry and poppy seed filling. I haven't made it in years and years and couldn't believe how easy it was. Later, I was bragging to my sister about my culinary feats, and she asked how I ground the poppy seeds.

Oops.

Shouldn't be a big deal, I said, they were pretty small to begin with. But that's what makes the filling creamy. But that's not the reason I called. The reason I called is because I forgot to let it rise. Will that be a problem?

My husband asked sweetly,"Did you even read the recipe?" He later said it was compressed but tasty, although a flying poppy seed hit him in the face.

Lesson #2: Smell the roses, grind the poppy seeds.

The weather has been moderate, so I wanted to get in at least one round of golf before the cold front arrived. I went by myself and ended up with three older gentlemen, ages 92, 84 and 82. All were good golfers and charming companions. The 92-year-old hit the ball surprisingly well and played lightening fast. The 82-year-old walked 18 holes carrying his bag! There is more than one way to age, and I want to do it their way.

Lesson #3: Use it or lose it.

 

Silver hair care

I've been experimenting with my hair care routine and thought I'd share a few revelations.

1. Your hair is part of your genetic composition, and no amount of product will turn it into Tiger Woods Mistress Hair. 
2. Product is an evil money-sucking subeconomy that will take over your bathroom and destroy the world if you let it. 
3. Some products are really cool!

I am not really a product junkie. So harsh. More of a product monkey, testing new stuff for the legion of silver warriors who need my help! Here's what I've been up to product-wise.

Aveda Brilliant shampoo and conditioner. I wash it about three times a week and just started using deep conditioner once a week. Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Hair Mask. Seems to be doing the job just fine. On days when I don't wash it, I usually wet it down in the shower and condition only.

About every two weeks, I use Aveda Blue Malva shampoo and conditioner. This is to help brighten the silver. This weekend, I bought two new products. Phyto Phytargent whitening shampoo and Fekkai Salon Glaze clear shine rinse. It sounds like I am speaking a foreign language. Hard to believe I am even having this conversation. Next thing you know, I will be tossing my hair from side to side. But I digress. Here are the results of using whitening shampoo and a silicon-based shiner.

I'm liking the Phyto whitening shampoo better than the Aveda Blue Malva. I just got the shiner, but I will be skimpy with it, as I do feel it weighs the hair down a bit. Before I blow dry, I have several options. Sometimes I use Aveda Phomollient styling foam scrunching it into wet hair and sometimes I do the same with Brocato volumizing tonic. Both work great. I mix it up because I think hair likes variety.

My favorite cool new product is Aveda Pure Abundance hair potion. It's like fairy dust -- you just put a little on your fingers when your hair is wet and scrunch it in. It is so light and your hair feels so clean, but it really adds fullness. Finally, I finish it off with just a tiny dab of Aveda Elements defining whip.

Who said gray was about giving up? It does sound like a lot of effort, but it's really no big deal once you get the routine established. By the way, I received no remuneration for these product endorsements. But I'm not opposed to receiving your call if you should have a bit of remuneration to share. I was only kidding about the evil money-sucking subeconomy. Really. Phones are waiting.

Mirror surgery

I've pretty much accepted that I do not have the smooth taut skin of youth. Just like I've accepted that my hair is silver. Except lately I've been thinking maybe the hair is my offering to the age gods, but my face could use some work. I've been practicing in front of the mirror to see what I would look like with tighter skin.

I was thinking this could be accomplished with Botox, but I am told that is optimistic. Eliminating bags under the eyes calls for surgical lift. Not into that, so I guess this means more concealer drill sergeant! 

Probably not into Botox, either. It does look tempting. I have seen bad Botox and good Botox. You look at someone like Hillary Clinton and you think, wow, what could be so wrong? Plus, maybe I could finally develop the enviable poker face for when people say stupid things during meetings. I am told my face says it all. 

And in a world where everything is smoke and mirrors, I sort of like having a WYSIWYG face. I think I'll keep it.

Desperately seeking silver

I have been desperately searching for photos of cool celebrities with gray hair to add to the silver celebrities and wannabes files. Trying to skip the usuals -- Jamie Lee, and well, Jamie Lee.

Found a list of beautiful celebrities over 50, and not one of them had a hint of gray. I guess that's their job. Dana Delaney, Angela Bassett, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sharon Stone, Kim Basinger, Ellen Barkin, Rene Russo, blah, blah, blah. Gorgeous and not gray. I've read that Sharon Stone is sporting strands of silver, but it just looks like blonde to me. And some nip and tuck.

She looks awesome but not particularly authentic. Even Helen Mirren and Judi Dench look like they've gone back to blonde. I think Lynn Redgrave looks really good, but the clothes leave something to desire. It's like they go gray and give up on fashion. I think it's the weight. I really do. She does look beautiful, though.

So, let's get over the celebrity thing. They have a different gig. Not their job to represent the silver-haired population. Their job is to look as youthful as possible for as long as possible. It's up to us. Which leads me to my latest dilemma.

I saw a gorgeous silver-haired woman at of all places, Michaels, the craft shop. Please don't think I go there. I was afraid, very afraid, but we had an ornament contest at work, and one must do what one must do. I will share my distinctive results in a later post. I shiver just to think about it. I almost made an emergency call to my sister right from the store just to talk me down off the ledge. She is a celebrated fabric artist and crafter. I did not get those genes.

This gorgeous woman. What to do? I had the Rock the Silver® business cards with me. I wanted to give her one and say, hey, I have cool silver hair, too, and I have a website, and I want you to be on it. To inspire other women. But I had not fixed my hair. Wearing a baseball cap, sweats and a tacky polar fleece vest over the top. Maybe she would think I was making a pass. Or trying to rob her. What is the proper approach? How do I address a gorgeous silver-haired role model?

Accepting all advice.

(Note to self -- clean up before going out).

Ladies who lunch

I was forced to go out on Black Friday to get my hair trimmed. Afterward, it was late in the afternoon and my hair looked great, so I thought, why not? I'll just pop over to the mall and see if they are giving anything away.

It's easiest to park by Neiman Marcus. Really. To get anywhere in the mall, you may as well cut straight through the store. And you may as well go up to the second level where the clothes are, because, well, Ann Taylor is on the same level when you leave Neiman's. Only makes sense.

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit I like Neiman's. Oppulant, over-the-top, expensive, but a smart shopper can snag a good deal from time to time. If I am wearing something new, my stylish young coworker will ask where I got it. From now on, I am just going to say T.J. Maxx. No questions asked. She is almost proud. I hate that eyebrow of hers when she thinks I've been to Neiman's. So harsh.

Speaking of harsh, what was it about Black Friday that brought out the tough little ladies who lunch? I am serious. Never before have I seen such an arsenal of scary old ladies at Neiman's. Actually, these women looked more like ladies who light up and drink martinis all afternoon. It was a study in abject denial.

These are very slender elderly women dressed to the nines with dyed red hair and makeup that must have been applied with a trowel. They definitely violated the 50 percent rule. No more than 50 percent of your body weight should be in makeup. They had that look of old smokeys who spent the 80s and 90s living on Virginia Slims, champagne and shrimp cocktail. 

I felt sorry for them. To me, they looked ridiculous. It's like, it's OK, honey. You can still look nice, but really, this is too much. Nobody's asking you to wear velour jogging suits, but tone down the makeup, lose the dye. Relax. It's going to be OK for you. The Republicans are staging a comeback. 

Didn't buy anything. Left thinking about what it means to age. Where is the line between never giving up and looking silly? I will not go gently into that good night, but I'm hoping that I will rage against the dying of a different sort of light.

You? Me? We are not the Neiman ladies. We will look old, too. But we will look cool, damn it. I have lots of future images of myself in my head. Lately, I've been liking the shriveled up desert lady with chunks of turquoise jewelry and wild silver hair. A good hiking staff, leather lace-up boots and a couple of cats. How about you?