I can be a bit of a hypochondriac. Even as a child, I studied the encyclopedia for diseases I might have. I was sure I had diabetes and pretty sure I would one day get multiple sclerosis. Don't ask me why. It's just easy for me to imagine that a routine ache or pain is something much, much worse. One time I went to the doctor with a bunch of silly complaints, and it turned out to be cancer! It's like the old joke about the tombstone that said, "See? I told you I was sick!"
As soon as it occurred to me that my hair wasn't growing fast enough, I initiated an IDQ. That stands for Internet Disease Quest. Hypothyroidism, vitamin deficiencies, menopause, botulism. I mentioned the problem to my sister, exclaiming that even the hair on my legs doesn't grow like it used to. All she said was, "Wait. There's more." A general thinning out of hairy places, as it were. I know. TMI.
Nothing disease-wise was ringing true, so I started researching average hair growth. It turns out hair typically grows about 1/2 inch per month or about six inches per year. Unless you are Kate Gosselin. Then all it takes is a head full of extensions and a 20-hour makeover. Oh, and the useless ex-husband for inspiration. Priceless.
I looked up my post about last year's buzz cut. That was January 24. It has been about a year. Let's assume I started with about one to two inches of hair. I should have about six to seven inches of hair. I've had it trimmed about every six weeks, and we know how those stylists love scissors, so let's also assume I lost a little bit at the salon. It's kind of hard to hold a ruler and see how long the hair is, but it looks to me that I have ... hmmmm ... about six to seven inches of hair!
Miracle of miracles! My hair growth is right on target. The only thing slow is my brain. I am fine. Worried about that hair situation my sister mentioned. But really, it's time to just chill and be patient. To Martha, who is transitioning to gray hair, and to Michelle, who is growing out a short do, I send goodwill and patient vibes your way. Let's learn to enjoy the ride and not obsess over the destination.
We have plenty of time to get wherever we are going. And while I am on the subject, I would like to thank all my readers for patiently sticking by me as I have been writing about my journey on this blog. This was my 100th post! Who knew? I thought I had nothing to say, so I just went ahead and said it.
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