Let's see. I have mixed emotions about my hair. I should just record that message and keep it handy so I don't have to say it again. It's getting tiresome.
I had been thinking all this angst would go away as I got older and more sure of myself, but I guess as long as you give a damn about your appearance, you will always wonder if this is the best you can do. I'd like to be a positive role model for aging with grace and style -- not a delusional diehard who won't give up the idea of long hair even when it looks better short.
Perhaps silver complicates the decision. People are so judgmental about gray hair. It's not as though we need to give them any ammunition by not looking spectacular. My sister-in-law, who told me earlier this year it looks like I have given up, was here for the holidays and said I needed to go short and spiky. I am grateful she does not tell me to dye it. I will say this: I have questions and concerns about the best style, but I don't think my hair is aging, I love the color and I wouldn't even consider dying it again.
Next month will be three years since I was scalped. I enjoy having longer hair, but I'm still not sure the sleek bob from a year ago wasn't the best I can do. The thing about the bob, at least with my hair, is that you must style it daily. My hair is just getting long enough now where I can let it air dry into soft waves at night and get up and go in the morning. If I'm having a bad hair day or just want to look a little more business-like, I can pull it back or wear it up. It's like the less I mess with it, the better it looks. While the bob looks polished, I actually prefer a little less precision. Does that make sense?
You may notice I got new glasses as well. These are not in-your-face-look-at-me-I'm-wearing-funky-glasses glasses. Been there, done that. I wanted something more understated that just sort of fits my face and contrasts nicely with my hair, and I believe I may have succeeded. I've made some mistakes in the past, but these feel right!
What's next? I will not being going short and spiky, at least for now. I may go back to the bob, but I'm thinking I won't. I already know what my hair used to look like, and I don't yet know what it could be when it grows up. I've been surprised by how the waves looked awful until very recently. It's like they have to reach a certain length before they start cooperating.
I've always said the best is yet to come, and I'm hoping it will be that way with my hair, too. If it turns out long silver hair isn't my best, then short will be my best. Either way, I win.
