Rock the Silver

Reinventing your self-image

Aside from my musings about time travel and causal events, I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. However, I do tend to deconstruct life's events -- seeking purpose and somehow arriving at a place where I've learned an important lesson I might not have learned any other way. Then it seems like it all happened for a reason, and maybe that's the point.

The broken wrist has seriously messed with my mojo. Maybe in a few weeks none of what I am about to write will make sense to me, but this is what I have to say right now.

Although the pain isn't so bad anymore, it made me mean. I have empathy for people who live with chronic pain. Pain changes you. On top of that, the cast makes it hard to do the simplest things. Getting dressed for work is a huge ordeal, and I won't discuss matters of personal hygiene.

But that's all temporary, it's getting better every day and being uncomfortable is not what has caused me to reflect on my approach to life. The real issue for me is that my self-image is wrapped up in being a jock. I was not an athletic child, but I picked up sports in my early 20s as a way to lose weight, and I got hooked on the game, hooked on the endorphins that release in the brain during strenuous exercise. Hooked on the feeling of being fit. Just hooked.

I am the queen of overuse injuries. I once ran a 10K race with no training whatsoever and my knees hurt for years afterward. But I was young, and I recovered. I strained my hip flexors racewalking and followed that up with additional punishment to my knees two years ago. My knees still aren't healed, and the whole reason I took up cycling was to give the knees a rest. I tried to build up slowly -- the smart way -- but eventually pushed too hard, too soon. My knees continued to hurt, but I got a hot new bike with the clip-in-clip-out pedals all the jocks use, and I fell and broke my wrist when I forgot to clip out.

As another woman about my age said to me, "We just don't bounce like we used to."

Some women mourn the loss of youth or beauty, but the fear of losing my athletic prowess is far more devastating to me than wrinkles or age spots. My husband kind of chastised me for my lack of moderation, and in one of my pain-induced rants I said, "Well, that's easy for you to say. You just sit back and judge. You don't push yourself or take risks."

And he said, "Yeah, except I'm 62 years old, I'm still running, and I'm not sidelined with injuries."

That is when it occurred to me that I need to reinvent my self-image. If it bothers me so much to be sidelined, maybe I need to look at what I expect from sports. Stick a knife in the spot that hurts the most, and see what oozes out.

My husband says I'll get over this and go back to being my usual self when I am healed. I hope he's right and that most of me comes back, but part of me needs to stay in retreat. I can still participate in the sports I love, but I have to stop thinking of myself as jockier than thou and shoot for having fun and being fit. I can replace the pedals on my bike, ride in a cart when I play golf and walk without trying to set a new world record. I can get back to swimming when the cast comes off, and I will be just fine.

I won't like it at first, anymore than I like all the other ravages of age. But I think aging is only a ravage if you fail to change and embrace the new versions of yourself that emerge.

Why you might need a silk pillowcase

Yes, this is my hair. I've been experimenting in the laboratory again. Some of you may remember my earlier attempt with embracing my little waves. My hair is much longer now, and this time I had pretty good results. As is always the case with me, if it's not one thing, it's two.

In the last episode of Rock the Silver®, Donna seemingly sprained her wrist. I've since learned it is broken, and I'm now sporting a cast. As a result of this temporary disability, it has been difficult to do much of anything with my hair. I certainly can't blow it dry without looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. I decided to try wavy girl again, and purchased DevaCare Low-Poo (shampoo) and DevaCare One Condition (conditioner) for curly/wavy hair. Both products are free of sulfates, parabens and silicones.

I'm using a clever plastic sleeve thing over the cast for showers, so I can wash my hair. I actually only wash it every few days, but I wet it down at night and add a dollop of conditioner. I use a microfiber towel to squeeze out excess water and comb through with a wide-toothed comb. Blow my bangs with my good hand, and then just let it air dry. It would look awesome if I had the time to do all that before work, but I don't. It's pretty much dry by the time I go to bed.

The first few times I tried this method, I was not pleased with the results. My hair was tangled and frizzy. Then I read about silk pillowcases. I purchased this one from Amazon. Holy cow! I wake up with second-day hair that is soft and wavy. I am stunned and excited to have an option that reduces my hair's exposure to heat.

The silk is also supposed to be good for minimizing face wrinkles, so what's not to like? Well, I probably prefer the feel of high-count cotton, but I can learn to like silk just as well, I think. Those of you with short hair or really thick long hair probably don't have the tangling problem and don't need a silk pillowcase, but for the rest of us, it's a gift.

I know it is made in China. I do my best. Oh, and just so you know, typing with one finger might be my singular talent. I'm very good.

Flats that work for work

 

I overheard a young woman at work compliment another young woman on her four-inch platform pumps. The one with the stylish shoes said thanks, they hurt so bad -- my feet are killing me.

The other woman said, "Where did you get them?" And then they agreed it would be OK if she went and bought them, too.

Meanwhile, my body has rejected heels, and I'm trying to figure out how to wear flats with skirts. I think I've learned a couple of things so far:

1. Avoid skirts below the knee -- it shortens the leg and can look dowdy.
2. If the toe is square or round, wear a shorter, fuller skirt. Just above the knee is ideal.
3. For knee-length pencil skirts, which are narrow at the hem, a pointier toe balances the look.

I'm not into pointy toes anymore than I am into stilettos, but I am finding a nice compromise. An open-toe flat is typically narrower at the toe and gives the illusion of pointiness. The good news is that there are tons of choices when it comes to flats. I find many flats are anything but comfortable, so I am picky. In my opinion, if they don't feel good when you put them on, don't buy them.

One thing I've become less concerned about is padding and arch support. My knees have not yet fully recovered from a sports injury of almost two years ago. I read this amazing book, which has helped propel the barefoot movement. The premise is that the cushioning in modern shoes, running shoes in particular, actually raises the potential for injury. Minimalist shoes mimic being barefoot, and barefoot is better for the body.

I've been ever so slowly transitioning to Vibram FiveFingers for walking and weekends, and so far, so good. I like the feeling of being connected to the ground, and my minimalist flats somewhat reproduce this effect for the office. More to come on my knee journey and my experiments with barefoot walking, but for now I suggest a dressy flat that feels comfortable when you put it on just might work for work.

Hi, Rush! About the pill ...

This will be a short post. I fell off my bicycle this weekend and sprained my wrist. A sprain sounds like a non-event, but this is a pretty bad injury. I thought it was broken and am grateful it is not. Still, typing and using the mouse with my non-dominant hand is hard. I hear these sorts of challenges are good for the brain. I welcome the opportunity to improve.

It's good that the Vicodin is kicking in, because I was really mad about Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke a slut and wanted to write in great detail about my thoughts on that. Now I'm just happy, and I haven't offended anyone. I might do that later, but I will have to wait until my wrist heals. Maybe this injury was God's way of telling me to shut up.

OK. I do need to share this. The thing that was odd about that whole deal was when Limbaugh said she was a slut because she was having so much sex that she needed government money to pay for all the pills. I'm like, it doesn't matter if she has sex once or 100 times -- when it comes to the birth control pill, you don't pay by the drink. Surely he knows that?

The magazine Mother Jones reported, "Once you wade through the bile and the realization that the country's most popular conservative radio host has devoted hours on his show to attempting to bully a woman into silence for her views on birth control, it becomes clear that Limbaugh, a man over 60 who is now on his fourth marriage, does not seem to understand how birth control pills work."

Isn't it grand that people shaping the debate on women's health issues think birth control pills are like Viagra? Legislators are busy changing the rules that impact reproductive choices, and it seems to me that it's a good time to be anything but fertile. Some legislators are fighting back with proposals to mandate the screening men must endure to get Viagra. Rectal exams? Lectures on celibacy? Seems fair.

I will not share my other idea for a campaign to reclaim the word slut. It came to me as I lingered in the emergency room waiting for x-rays. I thought it was brilliant, but I might have been delirious.

Buying and trying organic makeup

The suspense is over. I had my bangs cut. I'm very happy with the results and will post an update soon. I'm also going to take your advice and buy a small pair of hair scissors so I can learn to trim them myself. Thank you for helping me make my decision!

Today's post is about makeup. If you've been reading awhile, you understand I'm not big on makeup and know next to nothing about it! I only started wearing makeup when I decided to embrace my gray hair, but even now, I don't wear a lot. I started with Laura Mercier, because I read about it in How Not to Look Old. I've since become much more conscious about the health risks of parabens and other nasty toxins. If I don't want to absorb poison through my hair, why would I want to absorb it through my skin? I've been using only jojoba oil as my facial moisturizier for months now -- and with great success.

My local upscale groovy grocery store has a well-stocked natural and organic beauty section, and it was there I found the German makeup made by Lavera. Amazon and other online retailers sell it as well. It's not organic by USDA standards, but it passes the German certification, which is quite strict. I like it, but as I said, I didn't have a whole lot to compare it to. I don't expect much out of makeup, and I don't use a lot -- I dab it on using a sponge wedge and then blend to even my skintone. It does everything I want it to do, and I'm happy to be using a nearly organic product.

I also bought the mascara and concealer, and I'm equally delighted with these products. Again, mascara nuts will probably hate it, but I only want to darken my lashes a bit. It's the least clumpy mascara I have ever used! I'm also using Cindy Joseph's Boom! color, which is close to organic. I smear some of that on my cheeks, forehead and neck, as Cindy demonstrates in her video. I like this product because it's moisturizing and not powdery. It looks very natural.

Lipstick is a challenge. Several of you have recommended that I wear it, and actually I do, but it's so faint you almost can't see it. I've become accustomed to wearing this very light product, and now I'm almost ready to try something more bold. Lipstsick that says I'm wearing lipstick! This is a huge shift for me, but I've been looking at a lot of photos of women with gray hair as I populate my Pinterest board, and many of them look fabulous with well-defined lips. We shall see.

I don't think there's a whole lot out there in terms of organic makeup. If you live in a small town, you're probably out of luck other than online shopping. Have you tried any with good, bad or mixed results? Or are you thinking organic makeup is not worth the bother?

Growing out bangs

Many of you have suggested I grow out my bangs, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. They are at that awkward stage, the stage where it will take real commitment to keep going and growing. I'm not sure I even like the look that is starting to emerge, but I'm a harsh critic with no real understanding of what does and doesn't look good on me. I really like these bangs and wondered if this might be my goal hair.

What do you think? I won't bore you with the biopic of my bangs through the ages, but you can compare the photo above to my blog picture, where my bangs were already a little longer than I normally wear them. And if I do keep growing them, do you have any styling tips to make it easier? The bangs like to come crashing back toward the center of my forehead.

Thank you for sharing your opinion! If you haven't checked out my new Rock the Silver® pinboard on Pinterest, I urge you to visit. There are some really stunning women with amazing shades of gray, silver and platinum hair, and it's so inspiring to see them.