Rock the Silver

Rocking the vintage silver barrette

My sole souvineer from our trip to New Mexico was this vintage silver barrette for my almost-long silver hair. I love the clasp -- you just can't find them like this anymore. It holds my fine hair, and I figure if it breaks, it would be easy to fix. So many to choose from! There were plenty for thick hair as well. I hadn't even thought of vintage barrettes before these caught my eye. You can bet I'll be on the prowl from now on.

I am so glad I hung in there and waited patiently for longer hair. It was such a breeze to get ready. I haven't used a blow dryer other than on my bangs in several weeks now. Air dry is great! First day is wavy, second day is more on the straight side. I can wear it down, pull it back into a ponytail or clip it up with my growing assortment of hair accessories. For me, it has been easier than short hair. Certainly less expensive.

If you are growing your hair longer, I know there are lots of painful pauses along the way, but I urge you to stay the course. Don't listen to people who think long gray hair is aging or inappropriate. Listen to your heart, and do what you damn well please.

A road trip through New Mexico

Back from vacation! I didn't tell you in advance, because what if a bad guy puts the pieces together and robs us blind because now he knows we're out of town? Losing the stuff would be bad, but what if he tortured our cat or just let him run free? The cat is a flight risk anyway -- maybe the crook and the cat are in cahoots. Just a sample of the stuff that goes on in my brain.

We drove to Northern New Mexico, which is about a 10-hour drive from where we live in Texas. A highlight of the road trip was the puffy tuna sighting. My husband and I have a long-standing joke about tuna from a gas station or vending machine. I think it's the grossest thing ever, and he taunts me by saying they're delicious. We stopped for gas, and he called my attention to this sandwich, making sure I noted the bag was puffy. I get queasy just thinking about it.

Our hotel was in Santa Fe, but we explored much of the region by car and foot. It was a fabulous vacation, partly because my knees are better, and I was able to move around without pain. I will have to write a separate post about my physical therapy, which has been a real eye-opener. Anyway, I'm on the mend and excited to be enjoying physical activity again.

New Mexico is stunningly beautiful. I've always been a beach girl but find myself drawn to the mountains as I get older. That's probably my skin's way of saying, enough. We could not have ordered more perfect weather. Warm sunny days with cool mornings and cool evenings. It was a pleasure to be outside. Not that Texas isn't a pleasure, but we are fast approaching the blast furnace season.

Santa Fe is a hip and happening place, but we were surprised at how upscale it is. Very artsy, lots of people dropping big bucks in the shops and eating at fancy restaurants. My husband and I both enjoy art, but we don't feel the need to own it. Still, it was inspiring to see what people create with their hands and hearts, whether it was in one of the frou-frou galleries or in any of the city's fine museums. We were the anti-shoppers in a city that seems set up to suck your wallet dry. But we enjoyed it just the same. The only thing I purchased was a vintage silver barrette.

We'd browse for awhile and then sit in the square to people-watch and inhale the fragrance of grilled onions from the fajita cart. We saw a lot of boomers who looked fit, happy and laid back. It's probably the Georgia O'Keeffe effect, but there are tons of women with long silver hair. Gray hair is practically the norm. The woman who sold me my silver barrette complained that her hair wasn't graying fast enough! Reverse peer pressure.

The best part of Santa Fe was getting out of town. We drove the Turquoise Trail and high road to Taos and soaked in the luscious mountain scenery. Tiny towns with rustic charm that seemed to sustain not much more than farmers and artists. Our favorite day was a trip to Bandelier National Monument to see the ancient cliff dwellings. We climbed a series of ladders taking us 140 feet above the canyon floor to the Alcove House, once a home to prehistoric people.

Much of New Mexico history is Native American history, and I came away more intrigued than ever with the Indian culture. I wanted to talk about it driving home -- 10 hours gives you plenty of time to chat. Dale was more interested in playing the car game we call, "Dead or Alive." I think the game only works if you are an aging baby boomer with memory loss. We both like music and argue all the time about who died, so as the radio plays we call out the name, and you have to guess.

Joey Ramone -- dead!

Brian Wilson -- alive!

Robin Gibb -- dead!

Aretha Franklin -- alive!

Finally, I said, you know ... I've been thinking about Indian spiritual beliefs. They believe pottery is sacred because it came from clay, which came from the Earth, which is the source of life.

Dale says, fine, they can believe what they want to, but to him it's just like any other religion -- a philosophy not based on logic or science. I agree, but I don't think you have to believe what other people believe to find value in it. I said I think of myself as a traveler, and I make stops along the way to pick up things that will be useful to me on my journey. I like the idea of feeling more connected to the land, I like spending time seeing the natural wonders of the world, so I put that in my pack and move on.

He was like, fair enough, relieved that I'm not going all tribal on him. He just wants to crawl back into his comfort zone, and just then I hear the opening riff of Satisfaction, so I throw him a bone.

Keith Richards!

Alive!

Finding a gray-friendly salon

My regular hair stylist moved to a new salon, and I didn't want to make the drive, so I just let my hair go for awhile. I followed your advice, bought small scissors and trimmed my own bangs. You were right -- it's not that hard. The bangs were looking good, but I was in need of an overall trim. I asked Stylish Young Co-worker where she was going these days, and she gave me the name of a salon close to my house.

I didn't ask for anyone by name because I just wanted the ends snipped. I figured anybody at a decent salon could do that. Don't panic. She did a really good job, but I'm not sure I'll go back. I guess it's my ego, but I thought for $38 and 10 minutes of work, she could have at least said something nice about my hair.

Is that too much to expect? Seriously, am I being childish? I started off by telling her I was growing my hair and just needed a trim. Just the ends. I said she could shape the bangs a bit, too. I asked that she please never use texturizing scissors on me, and she agreed they would be bad for my hair. Texturizing scissors are the little dudes that look like they're cutting off a huge chunk of hair but in reality they're just doing -- oh, I don't know. Something. Anyway, on me, those scissors spell frizz.

As she was cutting, I said I wanted my hair to grow a few more inches. She said nothing. I said this was the longest my hair has been since college, and she said, "Really?" in a way that expressed anything but interest. I said yes, I mostly wore my hair short, but when I decided to embrace my gray, I eventually concluded long would be fun to try. She said nothing. 

I noticed two other women with short gray hair. One was just leaving as I arrived, and one was getting cut while I was in the chair. They were both attended to by an older man with white hair. I just got the feeling he was the guy for old ladies, and she was somehow cheated by getting me. She never commented on the color, which I thought was at least deserving of a modest amount of praise.

My hair is on the fine side, but I have a lot of it and plenty of body. Still, one of my former stylists was against long because she said I didn't have thick enough hair. I think I've proved her wrong. Fine hair has its own beauty. Thick is not the benchmark. I thought maybe this new stylist hated hair with my texture worn long or maybe she hated my hair gray and long.

Aside from agreeing with me about the scissors, she said I did a good job on my bangs. Thank you for pushing me to try. She also agreed with me that I don't need product. I don't know. I'm starting to like her now that I think about it. Still, it's hard to put my finger on it, but I didn't feel welcome. Perhaps I am making this all about me, and as it turns out, she just isn't a talker. Or she was having a bad day. I can be a little neurotic, but I mean, it's a hair salon, right? We talk about hair?

I wonder if there are "young" salons or just salons that aren't into the undyed. Sometimes it seems like most salons and stylists are in the business of making you feel inadequate without fresh color. What I need is a gray-friendly salon, if there is such a thing. What has been your experience?

It's time to talk prunes

I was in the restroom at work when I chose to chat with a colleague about prunes. I know. I've really got to work on my timing.

We were both lip glossing in front of the mirror when I started the conversation.

Oh, hi! I've been thinking about you.

Really?

Wondering -- was your cancer estrogen-sensitive?

Yes.

Mine, too. You know we have to be concerned about bone density?

Isn't everybody?

True, women can lose up to 20 percent of their bone density five to seven years after menopause.

Great.

It's even worse when they turn off the estrogen faucet.

Thanks. I actually have great bone density.

Now.

I run and have done weight-bearing exercise my whole life.

Ditto. It goes fast.

Thanks.

I hate this, too, but I've been doing some reading, and it turns out prunes help.

Seriously?

Prunes, otherwise called dried plums. They suggest 5-10 a day. I'm up to three.

I like prunes.

You could start now. That's why I've been thinking about you. It can't hurt.

Prunes, huh?

Yes, and since we're in the restroom, you should know there are, uh, other benefits.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

As I said, I've really got to work on my timing. That said, estrogen or no estrogen, do consider adding prunes to your diet to improve bone density as you age. I do not represent the Sunsweet company, but if you're going to do this, try their delicious D'Noir dried plums. Definitely not your grandmother's prune.

Who said aging was a drag?

I posted this photo on my Pinterest page of hairstylist Gun-Britt Zeller. I read she was actually born in Sweden but moved to Denmark when she was 10 years old. The typical picture I post on my Pinterest page draws a few likes, a few repins and possibly a comment. Gun-Britt has received 48 58 likes, nine eleven comments and 107 138 repins as I write this.

What makes her so intriguing? She is absolutely gorgeous, but there's no shortage of gorgeous. Her hair is stunning, but there are lots of women with stunning hair, yes, even stunning gray hair. What I think makes her special is her natural look. Is she wearing a bit of makeup? I think so but not much. Her face is slightly aged, and she has lovely wrinkles. It doesn't look like she "filled in" her eyebrows at all. And her lashes look about as sparse as mine.

I'm impressed. Just last week I actually went to Target and spent $10 on fake eyelashes -- the kind that come in little clumps and are supposed to look great on everyone. I looked ridiculous. Ten bucks down the drain and I said, I will just have to accept that sparse eyelashes are OK. Why is looking like a doll the standard? Eyebrows thin as we age, but most of us dutifully fill them in creating this unnatural line that we think helps add definition to our face. Does Gun-Britt's face lack definition?

To me, she embodies a different definition of beauty. I like it a lot. Sure, she's in a creative field and can look any way she wants. I'm not abandoning my filled-in eyebrows and mascara just yet. My tidy sideswept bangs, low pony and classic glasses from my last post are very appropriate for my job. 

But you know now ... we women are complex characters. I also like the scrubbed and wavy version of myself with purple glasses. All these years I've been trying to find that one true persona like it was the holy grail. If only I had the right hair, the right glasses and a signature style, well, then I'd have it all figured out. It's a weakness of mine -- always thinking about the destination and forgetting it is the journey that matters most.

When I saw Gun-Brit, I saw possibilities and selves yet to be discovered. The best part is that I don't even have to work at it. Just relax, focus on the journey and see who shows up. Who said aging was a drag?