50 shades of hair colors

Happy New Year! This is my New Year's Day attire: jammies, robe, third-day hair and no makeup. And you know what? I like it.

And I really like my hair. I was back in the hair science laboratory over the holidays conducting experiments on my head. Here's what I learned, as it applies to me, at this precise moment in time ... because everyone knows The Hair Paradox states that as soon as you think you know something, you will find out later that you were wrong.

1. The magazines want you to have hair that is hard to maintain.
2. You don't need a $100 cut to look good.
3. Silicone conditioners detangle and prevent breakage.
4. Silicone conditioners can eventually make hair dull and less wavy.
5. Shampoos with sulfates are OK once in awhile to eliminate build-up.
6. Styling products are overrated.
7. Less product = less buildup = less sulfate.
8. A little bit of silicone goes a long way.
9. Use silicone in the tangle-prone area on the back of the neck.
10. Use silicone-free conditioner everywhere else.
11. Shampoo as little as possible.
12. Condition when you wet it even when you don't wash.
13. Blow-dry as little as possible.
14. Don't brush as much.
15. Wear it up a lot.
16. Use hair-friendly accessories like sticks and french twist combs.
17. Finger comb when you put it up for a fuller look.
18. Do not compare your hair to the hair you see on TV.
19. Love the hair you have.
20. Don't judge someone by the color of her hair.

About #20 ... I love my silver hair, and my mission is to present it as a hip and stylish choice. That is not changing. What is changing is my perspective. I understand not everyone wants to join team gray, and that's cool. I've been judgmental about those who have made a different choice, and I regret that.

We are part of a much larger team, and there's plenty of room for everyone at the party. What I see is an emerging online community of amazing midlife women writing about the journey in all its parts. I want to be part of a dialogue that ultimately transcends hair color. Where are we going? What are we going to do next? What are you going to wear?

I'll be the one rocking the silver.